im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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