her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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