i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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