Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You are a booty call, not a friend.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
