remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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