I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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