i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
