nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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