I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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