If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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