maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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