Don't make out with my wife yet
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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