i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
