operation harelip BJ is a go
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
