Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
porn star boner night. come get it.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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