We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
