Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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