So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
