I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
