Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
