remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
