Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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