I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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