apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
