omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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