Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
