Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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