I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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