I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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