Don't you send me to vm
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
