i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
