I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
