I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
