the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
