Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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