the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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