shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
