Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
