no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
