Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
