she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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