Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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