I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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