yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
