I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
