he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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