There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
