I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
