I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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