he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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