how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
